SB: Oh hi Mum, you are late. You are going to have to hang on, we are about to have supper.
Me: Ummm, no wonderpony, YOU are going to have to hang on, we need to work, especially after yesterday. It will still be there when you get back.
SB: Hmmmph, not thinking that was the agreement.
Me: No, indeed , it is a little out of the ordinary, but it won't kill you.
SB: Mmmmmmm,we shall see.... that looks like a double bridle
Me: Yes, it is Vera's, you like this one better than yours
SB:(visibly pissed off) We will see about that, look how I can grab it in my teeth and throw it towards the door.
Me: 30 minutes, that's all we have to do. I even washed your saddle cloth.
SB:We shall see, I am now facing the wall so I can't see you, that might make you go away. Oh, and I also filled my cheeks with hay to make up for the lack of supper, so now you are going to have to run the gauntlett with my gnashers to get it out...you might give up and let me stay in bed
/>/> Me: Mmmm, no. Thank you. Lets go out to the school.
SB I can't, I just can't. It was so windy yesterday. Everything moved. The bin fell over, straw blew in front of my face. The electric fencing was making that weird whistly noise!! DON'T YOU REMEMBER??!!!!
/>/> Me: Yup, it's not windy today. All will be well.Come on!
/>/> SB: Oh God, there are people in there. On horses. I haven't seen that one before. What if she looks at me?
ME: It's fine
SB: I tell you, she is looking at me. I am going to have to stay far. far. away
/>/> Me: Well, really you need to go where I want you to go. So relax, nice stretch round the outside track, it's fine.
SB: I can't, nope, I can't. Holy shit, now she is leaving, and someone else is coming to lunge in the lunge pen, and WHAT are those two doing putting poles away next to the arena?! OH GOD, I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!!
/>/> Me: No one is going to die. You DO need to listen to me though
/>/> SB: If I stretch down I can't see over the fence, and that bin is looking very threatening again today.
Me: SMALL BROWN!! You MUST stretch down and go forward, here is my leg asking you to go forward, her is my kind giving hand allowing you to stretch down...get on with it young man...
SB: They have lit the bonfire now!!! We are doomed!! See how I can bounce up and down, make myself really big to protect you. My head can go really high!! Look!!!
/>/> Me: This game is not funny any more, seeeee, people are actually looking at us now, and not in a good way. I am going to have to get my balls out of the bag, if you carry on...no one likes to see a lady get her balls out...
/>/> SB: But I can also go very fast with my head up your nose too! I have seen them do it like this on the tv, all pointy toes and snorty noses!!Look, see, if I head away from the bonfire we will both be safe...but you don't look that happy that I am saving you now Mum
/>/> Me: I am not happy now, you are quite correct wonderpony!
/>/> Here are my balls, do what you are told...SB (now muttering under his breath) I wonder how big they ACTUALLY are...
Me: So lovely BD lady said make you think, lets do some 10m circles
SB: In canter? I can canter!
Me: No, in trot please.
SB: I can canter
ME: I know you can canter....thing is I have asked for trot...
SB: See this shoulder in lark, too, we need to talk about that...
Me: We don't really need to talk about it...you NEED to do what you are told...Please
SB: Did you ask for canter?
ME: No I asked for trot half pass
SB: You definitely asked for canter
Me: I definitely didn't (repeat at least 10 times more)
SB: Shit, he is power washing his car next to the bonfire now!!!
ME: I Know!!! He does it a lot, just not when you are being a turd generally!
SB:I might be getting tired now...
Me: Oh Good, then you will listen and get on with it perhaps, we have been here an hour already...we ARE NOT going in until I get some long, stretchy work from you and if that take another hour so be it...
SB: Oh man, you sound cross
/>Me: I have had better hours of my life to be honest....can we remember how to trot nicely yet?
SB: Ummmmm, yes....
/> Where has everyone gone?ME: I think they might have gone home, as we have been out here so long....is that a free walk on a long rein you are offering now?
SB: Ummmm, might be
/> Me: Did we die?
SB: Ummm, no.
Me: Might we be able to have a sensible session tomorrow?
SB: No guarantees...I do love you Mum, really
/>
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