Nothing like a pity party....

I just don't know where the time goes,my last update early September, now crashing towards October at a frightening pace /> /> 

So, we went to have a go at Medium 75 at Merrist Wood, little did I know that the Para dressage was running at the same time, which made things very interesting for sure /> 

Small brown historically hasn't loved Merrist Wood, beautiful place but he hates the crashing on and off boxes when he can't see what is going on...we usually have some spectacular teleporting at inopportune moments /> 

Imagine his horror, when he realised we were warming up indoors, in half of the arena, with tests going on on the other side, AND he was expected to work next to people with wheelchairs, two whips, leaders and high vis....all of which were a great learning experience, but a calm and relaxed pony did not make /> Then horror of horrors, he had to go out into the outdoor arena to do his test...the confusion was palpable, and he turned into a spooking horror, photographer lurking in corner, car parked on grass bank...it was all wrong, wrong, wrong in his little furry mind!!!! /> 

It felt utterly horrendous...tortoise dressage we called it....if you could find his neck you were onto a great thing /> 
To be fair, it didn't look quite so bad on the video my husband took (but is still not for public viewing!!!) and the judge thought it worthy of 63.5% which I truly thought was verging on the generous, but we will take it if it is offered!!
The canter half passes really were spooking and leg yielding at best, and we lost balance in a lot of the lateral work, traver better than shoulder in apparently.
Judge very fairly commented that we needed more suppleness in lateral work, which is totally fair and what we took as our lesson focus for the next two weeks...and here is where the roller coaster took a lovely dive floorwards /> 

We had a great session with my regular (weekly) trainer where we focused on a clear sequence of aids: leg, seat, hand...proper stretching over the back and crisp transitions.
On the pick up to a working frame, we focused on an active 'buzzy' walk, thinking about collecting under the seat and lifting through the shoulder. Again, focus on the basics, having those hind legs under my seat bones equally and pushing up and forward into the transitions.
We worked off the track on the right rein to begin, shoulder in left to a straight few steps, really thinking about keeping the activity in the hind leg through the corner, almost a couple of passage steps and then onwards, all the time maintaining the softness in the neck (easier said than done) /> 
Repeated on the other rein...staying on the 3/4 line really helped with the feeling of needing to ride each part correctly.
A quick walk break and stretch, still focusing on the length of stride an positivity and onto canter work and the engagement of the hind legs.
Really good exercise for us has been the turn on the forehand, really ensuring he is stepping under and across before asking for the canter transition and thinking Goooooo not whoa....
The really though bit for us both is the manouverability in the canter work as he gets very set and rigid throughout.
We tried shoulder fore, straight, traver in canter on the long side...HIDEOUS left, better right...all my fault as he throws me off the left....weight aids the way we are going, elbow by hip, hands forward, my shoulders mirroring his..REALXING (the hardest bit!!!) looking up, moving the canter forwards and across....not fixating on the acrosss......man alive we have a lot to work on....head was spinning I will be honest, and a huge degree of frustration on my part that I just can't get the combination of all the things I need to get right in the order they need to be in to make it all work!!! /> 
Cue the beginnings of the seeds of doubt
And another lesson with poor Douglas, where I just COULDN'T get it right....it was either power or softness and submission, not both...which he is totally right...is not good enough and we battled with it for so long I just couldn't think straight...even a straight line or a 20m circle seemed like an impossible task and I cried I am ashamed to say in utter frustration.
My poor trainer picked me up and gave me a hug and pointed out it is only because I care so bloody much that I get frustrated...which is true, but I need to sort it out if we are to get anywhere...
I withdrew from Sparsholt as I just couldn't face it...and went off to judge a championship at Prelim which was simultaneously very eye opening and very good fun...I tried to put the niggles of self doubt to the back of my mind, but there they were niggling away...coupled with a crap 2 weeks at work, by the Monday I was a mess /> 
As if by magic the Smallbrown one's behaviour then began to deteriorate (with hindsight not surprising considering what a mess I was) to the point that I just didn't want to get on and have a battle with him about the slight possibility we could work forwards and softly into the bridle without a row about steering at the same time. I could safely say at this point we probably hated each other with a passion /> 


I had another session with trainer in an attempt to put my crumbling self esteem back together, which was useful but being in my downwards spiral at this point, even things I could do 2 weeks ago and gone to shit....I decided to broach it with my OH, who rolled his eyes, which set me off in an absolute shit fit, told him not to come with me at the weekend and set off in a cloud of self pity for the Area Festival at West Wilts...
In fact had it not been for FP! at the end of the phone I probably wouldn't have gone at all, god bless her and her patience and realism!!!
I had decided if it went badly he could have a break for a few months and we would reassess the situation in the spring as maybe dressage wasn't the life for him...
I reckon I cried most of the way there, got lost twice, turned up late and in a flap....but as there was no one there I knew I had to just man upand get on with it. I had decided to warm up before the arena walk, do the arena walk at 7 and then decide whether to stay for the competition or not...bugger me, he was foot perfect.I can't explain it, he is an absolute arse at places he knows if things change, but take him away to somewhere he has never been before he is foot perfect...perfect /> 
He was soft, forward, looked at nothing and got on with it...as I felt myself relax and relief flood over me I burst into tears at the horror of my self and the self pity based insanity...we even managed a half decent canter half pass.  

Popped him into his (beautiful) stable and watched the sunset /> /> />

I trundled off to the hotel at about 8pm,still in sweaty riding kit, saddle and bridle, plus luggage in hand...stuggling into lift, two rather drunk but very sweet scottish men stumbled in after me...slightly awkward moment as they clocked my attire, gave a little drunken leer and slurred 'Oooooh, so what have you been up to...' His friend laughed...'it's horsing innit' by which point I was giggling nervously 
'Oh, are you a jumper? You know...over the jumpthings?' 
Me: 'Ummmm, no, it's dressage' Thinking this isn't going to go well    

Drunk scottish man 1 nudges his friend and announces ' See, that horse dancing...'
Drunk man 2: Nodding sagely: 'Oh yes, posh girls...'  'Bar?'
I politely declined their offer to join them with the saddle in the bar and sat in my PJ's eating sushi and chocolate buttons with warm wine...winner all round...and feeling a lot better by this point!!

5.30am came around far too quickly....trundled off to do the boy, who had clearly slept well and was bright eyed....all the other horses were very jealous their Mum hadn't turned up at 6 with breakfast, so there was quite a lot of door kicking, but by the time we had headed down for 7am arena walk, more Mums had arrived and the place had started to come to life.

I withdrew from the warm up test as he was feeling relaxed and calm (and I can't remember two tests, so wise not to confuse matters and forget the important one) and sat with a lovely lady who had come from Dorset with her spooky pony and watched the Elementary tests.

Always lovely to see such a huge variety of ponies at Area festivals...however, as our class time edged closer, the size and quality of ponies seemed to increase significantly  

We were first on (might have been a problem a few years back, mentally, but for us it suits nicely as warm up is very quiet and we have no time to fret!)

Had made executive decision top go for softness and suppleness over power as we just aren't able to produce both at the same time at the moment, he warmed up compliantly and I tried very hard not to overcook him...butterflies did appear as we waited for judges to sit down...it is the first time we have ridden for 3 judges at tables with cloths and flowers...trotted in, said good morning and blow me main judge rung the bell almost immediately  
Deep breath, off we went, bugger me, he then stood up as we came down centre line...should have remembered that from last year!!!  Basil went 'OOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhh' I went 'Get on with it' and he did, god bless him!
Have yet to get the sheets back, but looking at pictures and going by how it felt, it was the best we could do at this stage in our training. He was obedient, I was mostly accurate, though I suspect I didn't quite make the centre line in the trot half passes as his marks were lower than the other two judges. Halts were AMAZING, canter work had the obligatory lack of suppleness in lateral stuff,but medium trots happened and transitions felt good...
It was a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGGGGG wait for results. When I went up to look I was thrilled to pieces with 64.3%...thrilled....I had no idea how it would pan out in the grand scheme of things as there were very smart combinations there, but to end up 11th out of 45 was an absolute dream come true....delighted.....missed out on a rossette by 0.7% I think, but that doesn't matter, he pulled it out of the bag when it mattered and that was all I wanted really...to survive....oh, and get a plaque...its all about the plaque after all   

Couple of pics 

Medium Trot

We can do stopping!

So, next are the BRC National Music finals on Friday at Bury Farm, which to be honest I am going to treat as a fun outing...we are desperately out of practice with the music thing, but will be great practice for the Regionals in february (another plaque collecting exercise!  )

We have Riding Club team stuff at the end of October and I have 3 more points to gather for a straight Medium regional qualification...though I am running out of time to chase that, so may have to be content with a FSM plaque, rather than a straight dressage one...  

After that, I am not sure where we will go....it has been advised that I get someone else to teach him changes as I am such an special needs plonker when it comes to coordinating arms and legs  
If I can persuade trainer, I think it will save a LOT of hassle for the Small brown one, and then I guess give AM a go at some point next year....Looking at new rules I am a bit dubious about getting points at AM as automatically become a group 4 rider which has all sorts of implications for riding in bronze/silver/gold categories under new system, so we may hang fire for now as training sections no longer exist...lots to think about  

Looking forward to Isobel Wessels judging seminar in October and judge training at the regionals....hoping it will improve my training and test riding...
Onwards!!!  

BD training with Leanne Wall

I am posting the videos warts and all, so you can see I have nothing to hide. We are not the best combination in the world, but we are trying our hardest. If one person thinks, 'oh great if she can do it then we can' I would be chuffed to bits  It is very easy to criticise not so easy to get off your arse and do something about it, what I don't want the dressage police to think is that I am holding myself up as a great example of how it is done  ....just learning, learning, learning all the time  

We are very privileged to be trained by 3 of the most positive, enthusiastic and inspirational trainers in Emma, Douglas and Leanne. Last night we went for a twilight training session after work at Parwood, part of our BD training with Leanne. Despite having been teaching all day, as always she was full of energy and insight and encouraging, even though the wonderpony and I are a bit dim!!!

So, we warmed up, with him thinking about spooking at the dog, my husband filming, the doorway...but we are on it now, leg on, forward into a contact...no spooking! Stretchy walk, trot and canter to begin...Leanne commented that he remains consistent in both reins and it was a harmonious picture which is good news, however we have to be careful that our snaffle rein doesn't become baggy and we take up too much curb....the theme for the evening as it turned out!! We still need more jump in the canter, as always, a work in progress.
Leanne asked what we needed to work on and as we have our biggest challenge to date coming up (Medium 75) I asked if we could look at elements of that, in particular the counter canter half circle into simple changes as I haven't ridden that well recently.

We worked on gear changes in the counter canter first of all.I HAVE to be more relaxed through my elbows, think a tiny bit of counter flexion to keep him straighter, but still riding the rhythm of the canter with my seat and imagining I have cameras on my shoulders to point to where I want to go (interesting image but really worked)

It soon became obvious that he wasn't reactive enough to my request to collect in the counter canter (quite hard work for him) so we worked on my preparation...breathing into it, relaxed elbows, expecting a reaction then on again. When I prepared enough the simple change was good, if I didn't (as you will see from the videos) they are a bit of a flop and a fall out into walk!! grin emoticon
We have to keep the outside hind active all the time i the counter canter.Sometimes collect and then move on again, sometimes collect and ask for simple change, so there is no anticipation. Phew...head spinning but we will get there!!
Counter canter left
Counter canter right

Then on to look at the trot work. Half passes apparently looking much better, competent even, but still a long way to go with finishing them off and maintaining the bend in the right particularly.
Half pass

I must,must, must keep left shoulder and seat bone back in the right half pass, but at the moment it looks like a weird twisty thing I have going on....mirrors are such a help and an eye opener!!!

The wonderpony,is at times like riding a racing snake, but partly because I don't ride the hind end properly. I have to think about straightness when the half pass has met the track, before the circles, otherwise we are quarters in and it all looks a bit of a mess (again, videos show this very clearly) I need more control of my leg and to be more aware now of what is going on behind me as well as in front!!
Did someone say dressage was easy?!!!

Half pass ribbon exercises

It was useful to do some 10m circles with counter flexion as it really showed up that I had not nearly enough control of the shoulder or the outside rein...so much to think about, but really please each month seems to be a step forwards!!

Shoulder in

I have been accepted as a trainee judge, so looking forward to training with Isobel Wessels and Peter Storr in October.

Exciting times 

Please don't hate me....

for the relentless happiness...

I am so sorry, but I think I have to enjoy it while it lasts,we all know what horses are like...preparing my arse for the coming down to earth with a bump /> 

Bit late, but with the end of term craziness,life has been hectic...wouldn't have it any other way />

Monday we met Douglas Hibbert...he trains my trainer and she has managed to persuade him to do monthly clinics at our yard, which is an amazing opportunity which we have grabbed with both hooves /> 
He had a look at us warm up said he was happy with his general way of going and pleased that he seemed to be equal in both reins, not one side particularly weaker than the other and a quick chat about the Smallbrown one...as usual I began to reel off all the problems we had and the things we couldn't do....he stopped me and said 'Is there anything good about this horse!!' That stopped me in my tracks....I MUST stop belittling ourselves.

The focus of the session was Power and Reactivity. I was glad it was one of the first things he wanted to look at. My MASSIVE bugbear the more dressage I watch is the kick, kick, kick I see every stride. He said all that tells the judge is your horse is not going forward and NOT off your leg. It all starts at home....use an aid you would like a reaction from and if there is no immediate reaction back it up with a firm, quick reminder. He strongly believes that whips discourage the rider from insisting immediate reactivity to subtle leg aids , so away my whip went! It hasn't made a reapearance since!! /> 
We looked at 'sparkling' a little as we are guilty of trying to look fancy without truly being forward and powerful. Smallbrown thought all his Christmas's had come at once when he was asked to 'gallop' down the long side repeatedly /> We tried the activity we do in our polework sessions, changing the number of strides and he challenged us to get down 60m in 5....wow, really made me think about the LENGTH of stride!! But, he went forward and after a couple of rounds,a tiny leg aid was all that was needed /> The same was true of the trot, he got me to lift my hands and send him forward with conviction off the single leg aid, once he knew I meant it...we were off!! He talked a lot about the gears in every pace 1-5 and the lightness in the rein 1-5, was VERY interesting...I am still absorbing an awful lot.

The most interesting thing was the focus on the walk quality. We went onto a 20m circle and he asked me to do nothing...would he carry on walking forward without dribbling to a stop, slowing down. How many strides would he do without an intervention from me? Fascinating and very thought provoking. He declared him pretty good at this, by the end we were managing a whole 20m circle with a quiet rider allowing her horse to move forward without constant nagging...a clear aid, with a clear response. He then looked at the quality of the walk, adding a bit of 'sparkle' without a nagging leg....the determined and clear aid again, collecting him on the seat for the collected walk but maintaining the energy. He asked us to think 'Could we go into canter from our walk at any point?' Medium walk and then extended walk seemed to improve with the energy and activity...I was chuffed to bits with him /> 

There was so much to take in, it was a really, really fabulous 45 minutes...Learnt so much with so much to take away. We have changed spurs to a small pair and Mr whip has gone on holiday (I am sure he will come out when we do the ground work for the piaffe and passage /> )

Thursday was then our little outing to local BD venue in West Sussex. Was busy even though regionals were in full flow. Had to go on my own, with a lovely friend popping along to support and read the Medium test for me later on. First challenge for me is being able to remember tests at higher levels...my old age has made it hard, but I was determined this time. Outdoor warmup, with a super surface, indoor tests with a spooky gallery/cafe. He warmed up really well, but man alive it was HOT/> We didn't do too much, but focused on the rectivity and forward and softness....it was the first time without a whip and it felt a little bit odd, but we did it!!! Clearly I didn't have him quite off my leg and forward as he managed to do some pretty impressive sideways teleporting in the test...for a couple of 5's /> One of which had me having to stop and regroup and have a firm word with him....the trot work was calm and relaxed, 7.5's for the leg yields and medium trots, both of which are MASSIVE improvements /> I had to laugh as he was sooooooooooooo silly in the medium canter...was more than happy with 66.4% with the comment that canter tension had affected our marks today!

Hour wait between tests, so back on the box for a rest, planned to do 10minutes warmup mainly focusing on the lateral work but in the end did 15 as they were running late. Pleased with his stamina. He was super, really listening, half passes in canter still make me grin if they come off well. He felt good /> 
Aim was to get over 60% if at all possible, then we would have our 2 sheets for Petplans.I am beginning to love Medium level, yes, it is harder (as it should be) but the sitting trot really suits us, I feel so much more connected with him and able to use my aids effectively. The business definitely suits him...no time to get into any trouble  

Supergroom was reading for us, so I had my comfort blanket. Took a deep breath and off we went. It felt good (for us) still a little tension in the canter half pass, but he is definitely getting the idea- we both are! We did all the bits in the right places, I am beginning to think I can make subtle changes to his way of going during a test, so don't have to satisfied with what he offers. I also don't feel like I am in a rush to get it over with, taking my time to show us off a bit more, so that is a MASSIVE change of mentality for me! 

Took him back out feeling satisfied we had had a good go. Warmed down and popped him back on the box for a munch of haylage while I took an envelope back to the secretary. Went to look at results and thought they had been written up wrongly....  67.2%!!!!!!!!!!!! I burst into tears, so pathetically surprised and proud was I!!!  The poor lady thought I was crazy I am sure when I went to ask if she could double check it was written up correctly  
I haven't got the sheets yet, but the lovely lady let me look at it....bloody hell, we got 8's for the free walk and extended walk and 7.5 for the collected walk....absolutely down to the work we had done with Douglas  
Stopping and starting also good, I think 7.5 but by this point I was too overwhelmed to take it all in...will be interesting to see her comments when it arrives in the post. What a clever boy  

So blessed, so blessed to have such an amazing team around us who have enabled us to get this far, far beyond my wildest dreams!!!  

The boy is going to spend the next few days hacking and then 2 weeks off which are so well deserved. We need to regroup and have think about plans, we have 6 Regional points already, which is the stuff of dreams, so we will see what trainer thinks about attempting to qualify for regionals. Either way,as long as he is sound and happy that is all that matters...he will enjoy hacking and a bit of jumping...whom am I to deny the boy.

Onwards